General Sex Blog
Anonymous asked: Hey, just saw a guest post of yours @polynotes. I have started seeing this girl after a series of long mono relationships. Intellectually I am rather inclined to polyamory, I think that it is a healthier way to explore affection than monogamy. We are both on the same page about not wanting to be defined on traditional terms, and though we made it clear we are not seeing anyone else now, we agreed that it might happen. Emotionally, however, I feel afraid and insecure about this, any advice?
Sorry if any of this seems redundant but I thought some of it should be developed a little further;
Traditional terms and generic labelling, in my opinion, is fairly destructive to individuals as well as relationships. We exist within a web of intricacies that can evolve rapidly dependent on either the persons need to adapt or capabilities/freedom to grow. Many find it hard to clearly define what they themselves are let alone to define another— And to define that which binds the two together? It compounds the already arduous task. It takes a lot of effort and understanding to practice this in a functional manner of progression in a monogamous setting. A person could easily assume that this becomes even worse in a poly setting…. And it can be but it can also be the most simple task that you both ever engage in as long as you first drop expectations/definitions/labels. Most of the fears involved in anything in life derive from defining yourself, to others, situations, or the ungodly spiral of chaos of how it all intertwines in the most intricate volatile web where collision to implode seems inevitable— But no! You have to understand that this web has danced for millennia in such a manner, and love is only destroyed when its dance is intervened by the malicious jaws of fear…
Sorry, in early hours with no sleep I tend to write in odd ways… Anyway, the point is that the need to define/label something so intricate in simplistic ways is one of the key causes of fear. And why wouldn’t it cause fear?! If you define it simply and you are bound to be proven wrong repeatedly since it’s not simple. Don’t let the definitions reflect to define the situation nor the person. The person and the moment comes first which can then be defined and learned from internally for your own personal growth. Keep in mind that these definitions and lessons that you draw are for progression alone. Even thereafter, these definitions/labels do not define the person, they only summarize your memories of them. To impose such further is, in many ways, absurd. If you define a lake’s shoreline as blue and the water runs thick green with algae every fall then you can’t yell at the water about how it’s broken. That would just make you the town drunk.
Once these definitions/labels are removed there is only us as we are. When you feel fear you say “I need to feel love” and those who love you grant it readily to which the rest is then invalidated.
Another large mistake is viewing a relationship as “us”. No matter how strong the bind, we are all individuals and should be allotted the space to progress as such. We happily exist alongside one another as we love each other as individuals. If we grow apart then let our voices be heard but so be it as long as we do it out of love and not malice. If I am destined to lose connection then let it be done with understanding, growth as an individual, and love instead of pain, fear, and hatred. I’m not saying this in regards to a “higher power” having a “master plan” but instead, whether a spouse is under tension with no freedoms or completely free— it’s guaranteed that they will no matter what, progress. This can’t be changed. By feeding their progression (and your own) you are showing love for them (and for yourself) which this level of caring, in my view point, nurtures far more trust of true character in each other as well as shows that you genuinely care. Providing freedom is something that people love you for. Helping them grow as they are no matter the direction gives something more hospitable then any other atmosphere. Having a spouse feel safe, stable, at home, and as they are even if as they are is completely separate from you; If anything this guarantees that they have very little reason to leave anyway. Free, loved, and free of judgement…
So why worry?
… I could say that it takes someone secure and that can love themselves first before engaging in poly dynamics, but that transition should ideally take place on some level before even engaging in a monogamous relationship.
Even if you don’t see things the way that I do then hopefully somewhere in this was something that can help you decide what’s right for you. Keep in mind there’s no definitive right way/perspective on this but only what’s right for you. Even my girlfriend of 6+ years and I have pretty different perspectives on those who we engage with. Mine is no better than hers, but simply different. You don’t have to agree with your spouse, just be honest and respectful of their perspective.
people are angrier at women who claim to hate men than at men who actually hate, rape, kill and abuse women.
More statistical “Facts” then?
I have one too;
People tend to hate bananas more passionately then dogs tend to hate goldfish.
We all hate rapists, murders, and retarded hill billies; But the more reasonable people know the difference between equality and someone just trying to sling bigotry at the opposite end of the spectrum. Extreme feminism doesn’t preach equality. It preaches that women are superior and encourages hate based on gender lines. Extreme feminists are hardly more evolved in their stance than the red neck fools that they hate.
You don’t need hatred to get people to fight alongside you. You need reason and passion for justice. Sadly, I cannot help protest or fight for the just cause of equality in person unless I hate myself in the way that you wish me to. I cannot participate in any function for furthering women’s rights without being told that I’m scum because of what some closed minded retards believe in.
There is a very good source for protest but there is no justice or logic in your fights when all you do is preach more hatred.
Violence in Russia escalates to violence and in some cases murder behind the scenes of media against LGBT. No offenders are ever charged.
Finally finished my system upgrades!
Yeah. It’s sexy for a person to treat you possessively like you have no true human rights or separation from them as an independent person. Let alone this doesn’t say “I like my lovers jealous”, it says selfish. Meaning that they don’t think of you at all in this matter. They love and fuck you selfishly. That is definitely sexy [slow claps]. Someone who doesn’t think about what turns you on or gets you off. That’s hot!
Of course, lets not nit-pick here. You didn’t mean selfish. You meant jealous, but the real word that fits with this statement makes you feel dirty- doesn’t it? You make a post that makes you feel better about emotional immaturity in hopes that it’ll go viral because then you could generate a justification in your head for this stance directed towards the multitude of spouses that your controlling mood swings has annoyed. But nooo, you’re not irrational- right? You’re just being “traditional”.
I’ve been there (as have we all), on the being jealous side that is; But then we decided to grow up and mature. At least the better of us did. We were brought to realize that we as humans have instincts and sexual triggers outside of a narrow viewed perspective— to then in spite of that, start building a sense of REAL trust with our partners. A trust that isn’t determined on a false romanticized view of the world where Walt Disney crawled up your ass and now you are the only man/woman that exists in that persons world. Where to instead feel like a valued person we could be a big part of someone’s life without needing to completely consume it/them with our own insecurities. We may get hurt in the process of love, but trust & security isn’t controlling every thought and action of a spouse (that’s called being a psychopath and/or cult leader). True trust and security is knowing that they want to walk by your side and display themselves as they are. True trust isn’t created by suppressing the livelihood/existence of your spouses persona, it’s by giving them grounds to express it freely and then loving them for it. LOVE is seeing a spouse for who they honestly are and then embracing it<—- How THE FUCK do you expect to do that by binding your spouse down where your word is law on what they feel, believe, and exist as?!
No… I call bullshit on this. There is no respect for your spouse in the act of needless jealousy (and all jealousy is in fact needless). There is no understanding to you or your spouses true character if you must restrain it. Love is such an amazing thing where you can walk alongside others to view them as they are within this intricate web of characteristics- of flaw, beauty, caring, anger, and pain. The contrasted colours of another humans existence spiralling into the most complex and beautiful painting that could ever be created. To walk alongside them and watch this beauty progress as the artist paints him/her self AND THEN! By god, then, you feel what true understanding and love may really be. You muster up the courage to grant them to view you as you really are as well, with every dark to light thought; For them to see you as you stand in all forms; UNRESTRAINED; And with the right people, the ones who truly care, they don’t turn away from or restrain you— but instead embrace you for every aspect of who you are. They understand and love you as well. THAT , my friends, is what love is. I don’t care if you’re 5 or 50— if you can’t rise to this then you cannot rise to a true and mature love. This is why people end up feeling alone when surrounded by "loved" ones… And I will take no part in saying it’s okay. To each their own but to each their own stumbling stride of drooling fools.
I trust my spouse to be herself and I trust me to exist as myself. I trust that we see and love each other for who/what we are. I trust the both of us to feed each other in the process of our lives for a progression into better/more-intelligent people…
But you… You trust to treat and be treated as pretty objects in each others lives with your spouse. You trust yourself to control them when they think or move in a way that you don’t see fit. Oh, and if they dare to move or think in that way after you forbade them then they must not love you. Your words are chains as you hold love and that persons emotional existence hostage. You’d rather manipulate and be manipulated through love and cause/receive pain all in the process of the very fear of being hurt in love. YOU are a self collapsing contradiction that treads flames in your love life and I really hope you read all of this because then maybe when/if this stops you in your tracks the anger sputters from out of you a few minutes later. Maybe you’ll start to think and realize the truth in all of this. To then learn and love yourself/ others as we truly are.
The fact that the above image does have a lot of reblogs is not surprising but nonetheless sickening.
… Just found a pornographic picture of an ex on Tumblr. Curious if it’s just a random tumblr submit thing or if she’s doing porn now. 0.o
Either this is a typo….
or I’m set for life
Seriously, if it states that on the lease then don’t let them anywhere near your copy. It really is legal documentation of free living.
A short list of current happenings that are more important than Justin Bieber’s arrest: